Topic is Sleeping.
bella444 (original poster member #68825) posted at 2:21 PM on Saturday, June 17th, 2023
He has reduced me to nothing. Taken the past 22 years & stomped all over them. I feel like shit. He had his little fling in 2018 & I thought he was all over it. She's gone, but I've found proof of others. Gee, aren't cell phones great? Can't seem to handle finding directions or an address for the dinner restaurant, but he's a pro on finding escorts. And these women aren't gorgeous, they're average. So is it the thrill of someone new? I'm so worried financially. I'm in the process of filing for disability - herniated discs, SI joint issues, nerve compression, sciatica. They want to do back surgery. Not too excited about that one, obviously. We work together selling real estate. I'll never make that mistake again. I will be so financially screwed. I need a house for the 'kids' (animals) & South Carolina is a 50/50 split. I won't be able to purchase a house with my soon to be limited income, & I won't be able to pay him off. I thought he was over this, guess not. If he wants the 'thrills' of the chase, I guess he's in for an exciting ride!! Amazing how that one little act that only takes minutes can destroy years, literally DECADES of my life.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:20 PM on Saturday, June 17th, 2023
So sorry, Bella. You aren't worthless - HE is. What kind of normal person would do that to another? He has some major flaws to do that.
I don't have a my magic words, but wanted to know I can feel the pain in your post.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:17 PM on Saturday, June 17th, 2023
Bella, please remember that our minds sometimes lie to us. And feelings of uselessness are some of the lies.
Yes, you feel beaten down and sad and your future is uncertain. But that will pass. You will get up and move forward and be okay. Do you know why? Because you have value. You are valuable. You are kind and love animals and trust and love. It is your STBXWH that is useless. He is an empty shell who uses people and thinks of no one but himself.
See a lawyer and get a good picture of your true financial outlook. And remember that we may end up in smaller simpler homes, but most of us end up happy. The undercurrent in our former lives of deceit and lies is gone, and the peace is wonderful. We didn’t know they were cheating, but there was some background noise we didn’t even realize was there — and when it is gone, it is really nice. is it the future we envensioned? No. But it many ways it is much much better.
Are you in IC? It may help you realize your value and put things in a more realistic perspective. And please the thousands (!!!) who have walked this path that it will get better. You will feel better.
Hang in there, and keep moving toward an infidelity-free future.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Topic is Sleeping.