Dandelion2024 (original poster new member #84791) posted at 6:29 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2025
Why have I known this man for almost a decade and he still doesn’t know my eye color? Why does this bother me because his fair partner had beautiful blue eyes that I immediately noticed when I saw her picture? And even today he said my eyes are brown. They’re not brown. I’ have heterochria one eye is brown and my eye is green. How doesn’t he know this?
SadieMae ( member #42986) posted at 5:47 PM on Thursday, March 6th, 2025
I wanted to let you know I hear you. I would be very hurt if my spouse could not tell me what color my eyes are. That would make me feel invisible, and I'm sorry he's hurt you like that.
I also wanted to say that I think heterochria is so cool. When I was a kid, one of the girls in my cabin at camp had one brown eye and one green eye, and to this day, I still think those are the prettiest eyes I have ever seen.
Me: BW D-day 3/9/2014
TT until 6/2016
TT again Fall 2020
Yay! A new D-Day on 11/8/2023 WTAF
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 5:56 PM on Thursday, March 6th, 2025
Doesn’t that stuff just irk ya?😡🤪
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Formerpeopleperson ( member #85478) posted at 7:19 PM on Thursday, March 6th, 2025
I think he knows what color(s) your eyes are.
Why did he answer the way he did?
Ask him.
It’s never too late to live happily ever after
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 7:24 PM on Thursday, March 6th, 2025
What was the context? Was he answering a quick question or was it a conversation about eye color?
Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
Hippo16 ( member #52440) posted at 12:03 AM on Friday, March 7th, 2025
just another thought
Maybe he is partially color blind?
Very few men are "color blind" - what THEY ARE is they (who have the color perception issue) see red and green different from "normal" people. Blue perception very rarely affected by those souls (me being one) who have the rods & cones differences in our eyes that result is "us" perceiving red and green different from normal folks. (a through explanation can be found on the Internet)
In particular, pastels are very hard to see as those who are normal see. Also, the less light - the harder to determine color.
Also, smaller "bits" of color (red, green) are much more difficult to discern.
Blue eyes stand out like a light beacon to those of us that are "color blind" -
so I would drop that hassle that is bothering you over his eye-color ID issues
I would guess my wife's eyes to be brown but knowing I'm "color challenged" - I would look at her drivers license to find out her eye color.
Most of us with the DNA bestowed Rods&Cones issue live life normal. Only time it is an issue is choosing a paint color @ Home Depot.
There's no troubled marriage that can't be made worse with adultery."For a person with integrity, there is no possibility of being unhappy enough in your marriage to have an affair, but not unhappy enough to ask for divorce."
It’s easy to ignore eve
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:14 AM on Friday, March 7th, 2025
I get it. Bothered me too.
And man- heterochria is stunning.
🤩
As for color blindness- I dyed my blonde hair red one time and my bf at the time didn’t notice. Ends up he was color blind 🤷🏼♀️. Who knew.
[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 2:15 AM, Friday, March 7th]
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Dandelion2024 (original poster new member #84791) posted at 6:26 AM on Thursday, March 13th, 2025
Thank you all for your responses. I think this is honestly just coming from a place of neurobiology trying to find a path of pain. This is an old problem. He claims to have never known my eye color. He also claims to not know the eye color of his five-year affair partner. With her bright blue eyes. He says that he never notices anybody’s eye color. He’s also definitely not colorblind. It’s just about looking in my eyes and knowing me intimately. I challenged him to text one of my children and ask them my eye color and he did to which they immediately responded. I don’t know. I’m just looking for problems now because I think a lot of things have been revealed about his affairs and I’m still searching for the pain. I think it’s called pain shopping.
