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Off Topic :
I have a real estate question

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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 3:08 PM on Tuesday, February 24th, 2026

About 20 years or so ago, my husband, his two brothers, and his mom went in together and purchased land outside the city where we live. It was in all of their names together… So everybody owned all of it. Not the best plan.

So, all three of the sons have passed away, as well as their mom. There have been issues between the families that concern me. And I have been paying the taxes on my part as well as for 2 of the remaining 3 parts. And it hasn’t really been out of the goodness of my heart, as much as the fact that if the taxes don’t get paid, we all lose all of the land.

So… I have gotten everyone to agree that we will divide the property evenly and each person get full ownership of a part of the land.

Here’s my question. Now I own my husband’s part. But I have 3 boys who will eventually each own 1/3 of the property. Two of them plan to build on the property and live there. One son is a "city dweller" and he will probably just sell it to his brothers. They will have the right of first refusal.

But I’m trying to determine if I want to subdivide the land. It seems like a no-brainer, right? I should’ve learned my lesson that sometimes families don’t get along and it is best to have things set up legally. However, I’m trying my best not to micromanage things for my boys and I want to show confidence in their ability to handle this on their own.

On the other hand, my husband didn’t think that there would be issues with his brother’s either. But it would all have been so much easier if we had originally owned our own individual parts of the land.

Should I do the obvious and go ahead and subdivide my part of the property, or should I leave it as it is and let my boys take care of it with the hopes that it will strengthen their relationship to work it out together?

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8289   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8889957
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 4:02 PM on Tuesday, February 24th, 2026

Hi What's Right, I would subdivide it now. Have the conversation NOW while the boys are all connected by you together and you can supervise the contract write-up.

From the sounds of it, the boys may or may not have the wherewithal to build any time soon, and it would be better to have it sorted for them as it seems they would be unable to sort it for themselves after you are gone.

I would even consider selling it now and using it to help yourself out in your retirement...

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1191   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8889960
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 8:28 AM on Wednesday, February 25th, 2026

I would subdivide and each gets a parcel.

No one should own property together w/ multiple parties and then "have to figure it out". You can see the nightmare you have b/c things were not managed correctly.

Please don’t do that to your kids.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 15334   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8890007
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Formerpeopleperson ( member #85478) posted at 12:05 PM on Wednesday, February 25th, 2026

Who were the mother’s heirs?

Who were the brothers’ heirs?

All of you might own all of this land in common. You can’t just pick a chunk and subdivide it.

Better spend a few dollars on a real estate attorney.

It’s never too late to live happily ever after

posts: 519   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2024
id 8890013
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 4:26 PM on Wednesday, February 25th, 2026

To answer your questions, each of the brothers have heirs… Two of the brothers heirs are their wives, and I am my husband’s heir. His mother wanted their sister to have their share in the event of their passing, but because she and her husband were silent partners, and both she and her husband have also passed, the other heirs are not honoring her wishes about that. My husband and I took care of our part of what we felt we personally owed his sister by giving her land my husband was given at his mom’s death.

All three families involved have agreed to a division of the property based on a professionally drawn map of the property. We will have a real estate lawyer take care of quick claims and assignment of each of those plots of property one to each family. That way, each of us will own 1/3 of the property outright, rather than all of us all owning the entire property jointly. That is in the process of being taken care of now.

I’ve just been going back-and-forth about whether to subdivide my particular part between my boys at this time. Two of my boys plan to build on the property and live there. One of my sons will probably sell his part to his brothers.

I have finally spoken in depth with each of my boys, and all of them have requested that the property just be left together for the time being. They all believe that it doesn’t make sense to get it divided now, when one of my sons will not even be living there. But also, they said it wouldn’t make sense to divide it into two plots in the event that their brother changed his mind about selling. They just have told me that they would be able to take care of it when the time came. And I want to support them wanting to take care of it themselves.

They will not be able to build on the property at this time. There is insurance money from my husband‘s passing, and will be more when I die. It will be at that time that they would be able to have access to the funds needed to build.

I am leaning toward respecting their wishes to just leave it as one property that will be willed to the three of them upon my death. And then they will determine, based on how many of them will want the property to live on, and who will be selling it to their brothers.

I tend toward micromanagement, and I’m assuming that makes them feel that I don’t believe they can handle this on their own.

It’s a first world problem, of course. There are potential downfalls to handling it either way. I am leaning toward thinking that the possible good that could come of them working together to take the responsibility for this after my death outweighs the potential of it not going smoothly.

I have become quite brilliant at second-guessing myself these days! duh

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 4:44 PM, Wednesday, February 25th]

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8289   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8890021
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KitchenDepth5551 ( member #83934) posted at 10:56 PM on Wednesday, February 25th, 2026

I can understand how you are thinking. It does sound ideal for a family to maintain a joint family property for their heirs and multiple generations in the future. It's a unifying physical entity and tie.

It doesn't always work out like that though. If you consider the alternative when things go wrong; it can potentially work out worse and cause big problems, particularly for the brother who is most responsible and financially stable. There are one or more of your sons who have had issues that indicate past instability after all.

Think of how you had to pay the taxes to make sure the property wasn't sold through a tax lien. Was that fair to you? What if they were in a dispute and no one person could or wanted to take responsibility, or it became a legal dispute? They could all lose the property, not just a piece. I think it's better to err on the side of equally distributing, and they can decide what to do later. It won't cost them comparatively as much to sell to each other. I have firsthand and secondhand experience with this. It gets messy and unfair quick. It's something to consider.

posts: 190   ·   registered: Sep. 27th, 2023
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 11:47 PM on Wednesday, February 25th, 2026

As someone who was given a plot of land to build on I want you to consider these things.
1. What are minimum lot sizes allowed in the area. I live rurally and have to have septic to do this the rule is nothing smaller than 2 acres. If you dont have a plot large enough to meet zoning rules it may benefit you to sell it and bank those funds.

2. Who is responsible for the taxes after it is subdivided and will you be eternally responsible for them? If so again may be worth evaluating if its worth keeping.

3. I would also want to know a worth of the entirety of the piece of land and your own. Making sure that they are all on land that can be built upon.

It can all seem like a good idea but people sell and move and others move in. It's not great.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20431   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8890040
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 2:44 PM on Thursday, February 26th, 2026

Are your sons aware of the problems that have occurred due to everyone owning the land? And the potential future problems?

I could see the financial responsibilities falling on 1 son while the other 2 are unable to give their share for whatever reason. I think you should split the property and give the son who likely will sell his portion the middle plot, if possible. Then, he can sell half to each brother if the plan stays as it is today. They may all change their minds and decide to sell their sections which would be easier for each son to make that decision if it's already split. Being split also holds each person responsible for his portion leaving no burden on 1 person to take care of it all or lose it all, like you had to do.

I have only 1 brother, but I would prefer to have as much divided up as possible before my parents pass. I dread the idea of potential drama related to my parents after death. I have seen too much go wrong with other families. No one knows how people will react until it happens.

I don't see how keeping the land together could strengthen their relationship after your gone.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5657   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8890049
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