formybrokenheart (original poster member #36011) posted at 11:43 PM on Thursday, June 4th, 2026
WH is starting a new job next week. I’ve been triggered for a few weeks because he looked up EA partner on Facebook and at first gaslit me about it. But the job stuff is triggering thoughts about how he hasn’t worked in this kind of environment in years. His PA started at work in a factory setting . I asked him how he’ll handle whores at the new job. 🤷♀️
BW, 51, WH 53, Married 26 years, 5 kids 16 to 31. PA DDay: 11/18/11, DDay 2 10/10/12 EA DDay 3 2017, Status: I thought this was R
BackfromtheStorm ( member #86900) posted at 1:32 PM on Friday, June 5th, 2026
Would like to know more
What is the story and your status? His therapy, did he change? Is he remorseful or just ashamed?
Most of what will happen depends on this and where you are now
You are welcome to send me a PM if you think I can help you. I respond when I can.
WB1340 ( member #85086) posted at 1:42 PM on Sunday, June 7th, 2026
Set the ground rules. No socializing after work. No hanging out after work. No phone numbers for female coworkers. No social media. Straight home from work. He texts when he is leaving.
He can choose to accept this or he can be single, his choice
D-day April 4th 2024. WW was sexting with a married male coworker. Started R a week later, still ongoing...
annb ( member #22386) posted at 8:49 PM on Sunday, June 7th, 2026
Set the ground rules. No socializing after work. No hanging out after work. No phone numbers for female coworkers. No social media. Straight home from work. He texts when he is leaving.He can choose to accept this or he can be single, his choice
^^^This. My WH left job bc he had an A with a coworker, new job, I set the rules, basically same as above and he abided by them.
I would add no personal conversations with female co-workers, that's how many of these affairs get started and no socializing on the job when women were involved.
Sorry you have to deal with this, but he should be accommodating to give you a little bit of peace.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 9:21 PM on Sunday, June 7th, 2026
While you can set the ground rules, it is more important that you get stronger.
And that’s where having a back up plan always worked for me.
Let’s say your H starts acting shady. No concrete proof but your gut tells you something is off. What will you do?
You can confront him. He can lie. You can try to investigate. But what if there’s no proof? What then?
The point is you have to be strong enough to walk away. Or you will live your life in fear and despair. You will be anxious. You will worry.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can be strong and have a zero tolerance attitude. And if things appear to be going wrong, you choose to protect yourself and take the next steps.
Which could be hard 180. Or in/house separation. Or separation. Or straight to D.
But the idea is to get a back up plan or exit strategy NOW. Just in case. Because you just never know and you certainly don’t want to be blindsided and unprepared again.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.