SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Really, there was never a point when he wasn’t cheating in one way or another. Fresh out of a terrible divorce, I plowed through the red flags because I felt so loved and cared for. I had never been alone, he was my escape. But, messaging other women, still on dating apps, far too close with his ex (at times completely ignoring me for her), and I just plowed forward. Inappropriate texts with his ex, I was hurt but forgave him. Repeatedly looking up exes on porn sites because he had posted her. Excuses, apologies, sex addiction therapy.

Travel for work. I’m alone with the kids, behavior challenges mixed with loneliness. I said at the time that I feared his traveling would be the end of us. Attempts to cheat, interaction with other women, actively trying to cheat. One finally sticks. Physical affair for several months and emotional affair for over a year. So much work for n his trauma. My husband, who I am in love with says "what if I can’t get over her?" I stand by supporting and loving. why?

Lots of stuff, then I find an affair again in n 2021. Not physical, but likely about to be. Why, what is happening.

We work so hard over the coming years, basically, now, he is the husband Who asked for all along, the husband he said he would be, BUT. I don’t trust him with important feelings, I just don’t trust him.

I wish I had never stayed, I regret staying. I regret not leaving in the immediate aftermath. He never asked me to stay, he said he would like it is I did, but never said how much he wanted it.

I have this feeling that I have to be without flaws to now judge him and potentially leave him for his.

You don't have to be flawless to leave him. You can walk away anytime. There's no expiration date for infidelity and the marks it leaves.

That said, it sounds like the two of you never really worked through his issues or his behavior, and there was a lot of rug sweeping. If you genuinely like the person he is today, I suggest that you do some counseling and talk through everything he did, how you felt then, how you feel now. Be open and honest about your state of mind so the two of you can make a clear-eyed decision on whether to stay together or not.

If, however, you're unhappy and want a divorce, get a divorce. Sometimes it takes a while for the emotional rollercoaster to settle down until we can truly know how we feel. I divorce nearly 3 years after the first DDay. I know others who have divorce 5 or 6 years later. If your heart truly isn't in it, leave now and cut your losses.

I divorced almost 8 years after dday. As my tagline indicates, he finally became the man I always thought he was.

It was too late. I could not get past, over or through the infidelity. It was no longer fair to either of us. I have moved on, but regret to some degree that I could not bring myself to reconcile.

You will know if it’s time to file.