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My Ex cheated on me with her ex husband. Only reason I found out was that I was overseas seeing family and made a Trans Atlantic call. 8 hour time difference so I figured I would wish her a Good Morning. He ex Husband answered the phone. Being it was a Landline it left no doubt.

POSOM is someone she has known since childhood, classmates from a small town. Reconnected over FB, the rest is history.

My ExWh had an EA with his married Coworker. They're both high school teachers.

I cheated on my ex-W wife with women I met at my place of employment--not co-workers. None of these women were married.

[This message edited by atomic_mess at 5:57 AM, Sunday, April 21st]

Mine went the Ashley Madison route, married looking to cheat, NSA, but after 9 years playing secret BF and GF, I’d guess there were some strings involved . I take solace in a strange way that he kept shopping for a better her, she wasn’t all that great, just very available. His selection criteria was no baggage, no drama, no demands, just cake eating and keeping the status quo at home. I can’t even.

My fiancé would hook up with random men.
I didn’t really put too much effort in uncovering the whole past, but from what I gleaned this started as "occasional" opportunistic booty-calls. Sometimes a quick make-out session in a dark booth at a bar. Sometimes a session in a car or the club toilets. Usually associated with getting excessively drunk during her girl’s night out.
Then it developed into using the opportunities offered when I was working 10-12 hour night-shifts on weekends... When her fanny got the itch, she would dress up maybe an hour or two after I left, then hit some bar or club and get it scratched... Be home long before I came home.
If there is any silver lining, then it might be that the guy I caught her with lived about an hour out of town. She did tell me that he was the first one she took to our bed because of this inconvenience... Somehow that didn’t really make me feel any better.

How many? I don’t know and seeing as how I didn’t catch any STD then I don’t really care to know. I know of four, but it could be anything from four to four hundred for all I care. One was one too many.

My ex: the massage therapist.
His father: the secretary.

1st AP was a woman he went to the same small town HS with & reconnected on FB 23 yrs after they had graduated. They had an EA for about 3 months, then it became a PA that lasted about 1 month.

2nd AP also someone he knew from childhood, they grew up together in the same small town, families knew one another, their dads worked together, their families did games nights, dinners, bbqs; They never hooked up as teens. We’ve been married almost 30 yrs, I met her when we were still dating - she was introduced as a family friend. She herself got married and her H was a known serial cheater around town. I felt sorry for her bc her H did her dirty. But she was always hanging around my H’s family - H has 2 half-brothers. I believed my in laws then and believe it more now that she wanted either my H or one the brothers. She was a plus sized girl and very pretty. But neither H nor his brothers were ever interested. Then one day out of the blue H sends a text and it grew from there - very flirty, complimentary, sweet texts; plans to meet up but I found their messages and blew everything up. This was an EA, never progressed to a PA.

NOW I’m very leary when old hs classmates or childhood friends blow in from his past and try to friend him on social media. He deletes the requests and always tell me but…that nagging feeling will always be there I guess.

[This message edited by Blackbird25 at 1:34 AM, Monday, April 22nd]

WH cheated with his employee. Proximity was accentuated by work being in a remote, isolated location.

Suspected EAs have all been within other normal, work circles.

She cheated with a guy she connected with in an online chat for a sport we followed. POSOM was an academic who looked like Himmler's uncle. His academic field covered subject where she had an interest. She always felt inferior to college graduates so she was flattered when he complemented her on her knowledge of the topic. He offered to teach her a course in their online chats that he was teaching at a local college. She took him up on it and of course the chats took their course. Eventually they started meeting up for "museum trips" or she would travel overnight for her side business.

Later she noted that she felt like he was a predator. In some sense that's true. He was a misogynist creep who would use vulnerable women if they went for it or abuse them if they didn't.

It was only years later that I came to understand that it was really a mutual dance rather than a predator/prey relationship. Her wayward, attention-seeking behaviors began years before this particular affair.