When Has Price Been Paid for Infidelity
First time poster.
WS. 38yo M. BS 39yo F. Married in 2010. In relationship since 2001.
EA 2020-early 2022.
D-day by confession 20 March.
BS is devastated. I am broken.
Since D-Day:
BS announced we are 'separated' (on D-Day) but subsequently re-invited me into the marital bed and we were having sex within days.
Subsequently:
WS publically shamed (local and social media)
WS physically and verbally abused
BS engaged escort within 1 week (no sex?)
BS starts interacting with other men on dating apps
BS does not hide this and frequently makes WS aware.
BS basically makes a porno and gets catfished
WS provides empathic and compassionate response
BS announced she is off the apps and no longer in contact with any matches
Marriage counselling commences
WS learns that BS is still in contact with and is arranging liaisons with multiple men
WS confronts BS about planned actions before they happen.
BS says it's okay because were 'separated' and that she's done nothing wrong (unlike me)
"It's not about revenge" says BS
In earlier conversations lines such as these have been dropped....
"I can't let you get away with this"
"You must be shown that this is not okay"
"My biggest regret in life is committing to you too early"
I noticed a love bite on BS neck yesterday. She's been with someone else.
She has left she says (so her actions are ok) but she still wants to get back with me.when she's done 'healing'
She's now proposing we go 'monogamish' for 3 months and then look at going back to monogamy and marriage counselling after that. In counselling she says we will work through my affair and see if forgiveness can be granted.
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Our marriage counsellor has told me to get out of what she thinks is an emotionally abusive relationship.
I can't help but feel that BS is simply vengeful and forgiveness is unlikely.
My question is, at what point have I 'paid the price' for my infidelity and when can I look at self forgiveness?
5 comments posted: Thursday, May 12th, 2022
