Wife cheated on me and confessed on Christmas Eve.

Hey there. First time poster. My wife confessed on Christmas Eve that she had been unfaithful to me a week and a half prior. I still can’t process what has happened to me and my family; so you’ll forgive me if my post is disorganised. We’ve been married for 5 years and have a child together. I came in on Christmas Eve with shopping and presents, when I noticed my wife seemed upset by something. Naturally I tried to cheer her up but she wasn’t having it. She said she only wanted to talk after the kid was asleep.

Now after this, she begged me not to hit her and then told me that she cheated on me a week and half/2 weeks prior to Christmas Eve. Naturally I didn’t react well to this, didn’t put hands on her, but it only got worse from there. Not only did she do this but she is going to continue to do it, much to my astonishment. During the next days, I told her what she was doing was wrong, that it’s immoral, that we can work on this and fix it, but the more I pushed this point, the more she didn’t want to engage. She made her decision and wanted me to be ok with it.

She claims that everything in our lives is great, it’s the intimate side of things that she misses and she doesn’t find me physically attractive anymore. I floated out the idea of seeing a marriage councillor but was completely indifferent about it.

As distraught as I was, I spent Christmas Day alone with the kid, as she went to work. She then sent pics of the spread they were having at work, as if to rub it in my face, as I didn’t eat or sleep for three days after the bombshell. When she came home, she also said she was going out on the 27th as she arranged something. Utterly mortified, I demanded that she cancelled this stupid thing because we are in crisis. Instead, she doubled down and says that she was going regardless about how I feel about it. Talked about an open relationship bs as well during those three days of talking, which really rankled with me.

After that, I took the kid with me and we went to my parents house. I’ve explained the situation with what was going on and they aren’t happy. I’m so ashamed and angry about what was going on; perhaps my wife believed that I wouldn’t tell anyone or that I would somehow agree to this. Now the cat is out of the bag.

There’s so much I’m going through and I’m still in shock about the whole situation and I’m struggling financially, as she knew, when she dropped her bombshell, knowing I wouldn’t have the funds to do the necessary steps. I’m the primary parent with my kid and she gets the kid on weekends.

I legitimately hate her. Not only for what she’s done to me, but what she’s going to do to the kid. Gonna try and breathe for a moment. There’s so much to go through that I’m still struggling with everything.

18 comments posted: Tuesday, February 6th, 2024