New here

Hi I'm nervous. I see a lot of stuff about physical affairs but for me my husband is addicted to porn so I hope you guys support wives of porn addicts as well...

The addition started long before I was in the picture but he stopped when we were dating I knew it had happened when we got married but it wasn't supposed to be a problem anymore. It came back late in pregnancy with my first kid. He told me it had to do with how I looked. Postpartum he watched it and said it was because I couldn't have sex with him. He worked hard and became a much nicer person again (I feel like his personality changes when he watches a lot). Lots of apologies and it became bigger gaps in between and he told me it had stopped but that wasn't true. Not sure the exact date but pregnant with my second child I found out he hadn't stopped it had just gone from everyday to one or two times a month he was very apologetic and heartbroken and started being honest about it again. When I was in labor laboring at home he disappeared for a bit and when he came back I could see the guilt and he told he he had left to watch it. He was very kind and perfect the rest of the birth and postpartum he never blamed me for him watching it this time round and he was very sorry and he watched it less.

Baby number 2 has a sibling born less than a year from her and during the time of my pregnancy with baby number 3 he went 6 months sober watched it twice and then back to being sober. Baby is three months old I found out he has been looking it up on Spotify but apparently has only looked it up and felt guilty and stopped what he was doing.

At this point I'm furious because I told him I didn't mind if he struggled he just needed to be honest so that we could get to a point where he can be porn free this is something he agreed to we are both religious and in our religion porn is cheating so I feel like I'm being gracious.

A week ago he came to me crying and said he was so sorry he has been doing work on his own listening to podcasts and such and he said he realized how bad he had been and all the meanness and he was able to talk to me about my pain in a really real way he says he wants our marriage to be great and to earn back my trust after everything and he's sorry for it not being a huge deal to him before He wants to stop watching it for good but promises to tell me when he stumbles.

I just need a place where I can find encouragement and advice.

19 comments posted: Tuesday, June 25th, 2024