SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I was such a raging entitled dick yesterday that I got told to leave. Sundays and Mondays are horrible trigger days. I had planned to be there to work at 0700 Monday before a big storm and to be with my son. But after being kicked out i was not sure I should be there and the plan still stood. I texted at 0930 to ask if I could come late. She was pissed. I’ve been arguing all over the place for 5 hours now because I don’t understand. Where did I go wrong?

[This message edited by wantstorepair at 10:11 PM, Monday, February 21st]

Can you add some additional details/context?

How do you feel you were dick? What happened? How did you respond? Why did she kick you out?

Why are Sundays and Mondays trigger days? Are they triggers for you or her?

When she asked you to leave, what did she say? Did she mention what she expected this morning? How did you leave things with her?

If you didn't know how this morning was going to go, when did you ask? Seems like you waited until after the fact to ask... why?

Was you not being there an additional burden on her? (e.g. Does she go into the office and you stay with your son?)

I'm not sure what you mean by "where did I go wrong?" It sounds like you went wrong by being angry/defensive in the first place, and then wrong again by not asking about this morning until after it was too late. Is it not that straightforward to you? What are we missing?

i was not sure I should be there and the plan still stood. I texted at 0930 to ask if I could come late.

You should have asked. Then you would have known. Instead,you called late,which sounds like it was later than the intended time.

Where did you go wrong? In your own words..

I was such a raging entitled dick yesterday

Your wife has been put through Hell..by you. You continue to be abusive. She has said she wants a divorce. She means it. So file. End the abuse. Stop being a "raging entitled dick."

Last week,you asked if it was fair to ask her for one final second chance. I don't believe you returned to the thread. People asked you why? What would change? Here you are..still behaving in the same way you have. Nothing changed. There's the answer to the question you asked.

Daddydom,

Can you add some additional details/context?

How do you feel you were dick? What happened? How did you respond? Why did she kick you out?

We have been fighting all week and this weekend we had the kids here from college and she did not come out of her room at all. In our texts last night I was defensive and she had enough and told me to get out.

Why are Sundays and Mondays trigger days? Are they triggers for you or her?

They are her triggers. I used to go to sleep early on Sunday (even cutting short our family game night) because I had to leave very early on Monday to drive to my job out of state. On the way out of town on Monday morning is when I on many occasions stopped at APs house for sex before getting on the road.

When she asked you to leave, what did she say? Did she mention what she expected this morning? How did you leave things with her?

She said get out. I protested and then she said get out and it was not an option. I had previously made a work plan around the house for Monday which we had discussed. She left it as enjoy your night and your Amy (AP) fuck Monday. There was no expectation for this morning. This morning I woke up at 6 and was waiting for her to wake up (to see here on line icon on messenger) to ask if I could come back. That was at about 9:30. After I asked it went down hill and I got defensive and argumentative.

If you didn't know how this morning was going to go, when did you ask? Seems like you waited until after the fact to ask... why? See above. I did not at all assume I was allowed to or supposed to be back at 7.

Was you not being there an additional burden on her? (e.g. Does she go into the office and you stay with your son?)

Yes, she had to wake up and uncover the chicken we have in the garage for the bird we are trying to nurse back to health. I was supposed to be taking down the last of the winter decorations off the house before a big storm rolls in, and also prepping the outside coop for the storm. Me not being there left that to her, which is why I asked to come back to work.

Sounds like you guys are really clashing at the moment. You spending time at the house really does seem to be a major issue. Have you considered taking some purposeful time away from each other? For example, would you be willing to go a month without seeing her or going home? I don't know all your details, but it sounds like you need to get comfortable being on your own for a while. Maybe agree to talk on the phone once a week or whatever, but just give you both some time and space.

How does the thought of that make you feel? Are you comfortable with doing that? Or does it cause you any fear or anxiety? If so, what comes up for you?

Yes, she needs space and I have to give it; physical and emotional. I am not going back tomorrow and will figure something out to continue to give her the space she needs for a longer time, while I also work through my issues that keep causing these problems.