SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

There are some great lectures on YouTube from the best universities in the US. One is an entire course about Human Behavioral Biology by Robert Sapolsky from Stanford. It's close to 40h, so I don't remember exactly where he said it, but we humans have some excellent built-in mechanisms for kin selection. For example, by using smell, we can subconsciously evaluate how much genetic material we share with a given individual. The look is also vital. The closer we are related, the more we care about a given person and the stronger the attraction is. We have mechanisms to prevent this attraction from becoming sexual, but most do their job when we are young. For example, we perceive a Family with whom we grew up as a part of ourselves, and therefore, there is no sexual attraction, only caring.

They never grew up together, so the most important natural protection has been completely disabled.

On the other hand, Anthropology teaches that only two traditions are shared across all cultures.

The first one is about treating dead relatives with respect. Respect means whatever given culture thinks is appropriate: burning, burying, eating, embalming - whatever.

The second one is about incest. It's taboo. Always. God/gods don't like it when you want to have a little too much fun with your brother or mother. It is additional protection against the situation you've encountered. Guard that for every culture on the planet was more important than anything else, as cultures that did not have this feature were extinct so fast we've never heard about them(some rulers did their best to break it, but a taboo that has to be broken existed). So this taboo seems very much a must despite some built-in protection humans already have.

In the case you've described, they are only half-siblings, so it's blurry, and additionally, there is no peer pressure as they are too old for this, and nobody cares.

So unfortunately, there is a powerful attraction between them, but the most mechanisms that should prevent that are not available, and you are the only source of peer pressure. In that case, you should provide extreme pressure and be prepared for plenty of resistance. They probably feel like that was love at first sight (probably rather smell, to be precise), and both will see you as an enemy who stands in the way of their "obviously platonic" love.

[This message edited by Stich at 11:21 PM, Tuesday, February 7th]

they are only half-siblings, so it's blurry, and additionally, there is no peer pressure as they are too old for this, and nobody cares.

I had a visceral reaction to this. "Only" half siblings? They share a biological parent. That's NOT blurry. And I would imagine A LOT of people would care very much. The parents, for example. Or grandparents. Aunts. Uncles. Their children.

Both of my siblings are half, technically. In actuality they ARE my siblings. Period. Half isn't a factor.

Something else to consider. We all have done ancestry. I share 26% DNA with each sibling.

If this were a step sibling situation, then ok,that's blurry. This is not a blurry situation.

I had a visceral reaction to this. "Only" half siblings? They share a biological parent. That's NOT blurry

Well... blurrier

I meant that it is easier for her to fool herself. Not easy, but easier.

In the end, it makes no difference as an affair is an affair.

I would imagine A LOT of people would care very much. The parents, for example. Or grandparents. Aunts. Uncles. Their children.

He didn't say anything about this.

Both of my siblings are half, technically. In actuality they ARE my siblings. Period. Half isn't a factor.

Actually, I will take the opportunity to say that your posts always make me feel better. Sometimes I have a vision of Ripley with a flamethrower when you post. But only some have such a strong moral compass and empathy as you. So probably, she doesn't.

So it is easier for her to bend her rules because the situation is a little less clear, and she does all in her power to find something to grasp and use as an excuse.

[This message edited by Stich at 12:05 AM, Wednesday, February 8th]

How are you doing, Mrbluesky?

Tell her if she goes on this trip, she may as well stay there permanently bc she'll be single the minute she leaves. Additionally, if she can't tell you right now that she isn't going, you two are done even before she leaves. If she chooses to go NC with him, then she needs to go to IC.

If she picks him, then expose this EVERYWHERE: All family in both sides, your friends, her friends, her workplace, church (if she goes), and on all social media. She'll get pissed and says some stupid shit like she was thinking yall could have worked it out but now since you did that you've made it impossible. Ignore her. They all say that nonsense. After you expose, file for D and then tell her she has until it's final to convince you to call it off.

You can talk about it all you want with your wife. You can be uneasy about her visiting him all day long.

However, this is the reality. Your WW is in an EA right now. There is a very high likelihood that she will have sex with her half brother during that visit.

So, you have two options. Continue to express your feelings and be uneasy, or take action to prevent it. Right now, you are in the former camp. Just be ready for the PA that comes from the visit. You’re fortunate in that you have a window into this high probability eventuality. I wouldn’t squander that with inaction.

Aletheia posted THE DEFINITE post on your situation regarding Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA).
I think you need to tread very carefully here…
True – your wife is at the moment in some form of EA. True – due to the nature of EA’s and the Genetic Sexual Attraction factor this is very likely to progress further.
I would make the following suggestion:
Your wife and her sibling keep their relationship at a minimum for now. Preferably cut it off for 3 months. During those three months your wife seeks IC to deal with her emotions. To better understand the base biology behind this really strange GSA phenomenon. Follow that through with joint sessions where you are able to explain your LOGICAL concerns.
At that point your wife can decide if her brother is an asset to the marriage and her life, or if he’s a risk.

Well.....I guess if she insists on going to meet him. Than you must also go...I mean. Read the texts. And give him a call... It's your wife , for crying out loud. I can see her wanting to meet her half sibling, yet it must be in a controlled atmosphere. Letting her go alone...Your marriage will be over

How are you doing? Are you still with us?