SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Soooo. I thought i would post something that lots of BS can relate to and to give a good laugh. I also want to encourage others to post those moments where you were able to laugh at this shit.

About the time he was starting his affair, the weaponized incompetence went full throttle with Xhole.

One of the things he did was to "forget" to pay the electric bill. I had asked him to take some of the load off of me by paying the bills that I couldn't set up for automatic bill pay. We had only three, cable, internet (it was separate at the time), and electricity. Well, to teach me a lesson, he "forgot" to pay the electric bill. I noticed the warning statement when it came in and reminded him he still hadn't paid the electric bill. He told me he didn't know how to set it up for the bank to pay it (even though I'd shown him 2x already). Cool. My response? "Then stop by the office and pay them in person, it's right next to where you work. Even though the office was literally the building right next to where he worked, he had the audacity to ask me to drive 11 miles to pay it because it was too inconvenient to handle that day. I told him I couldn't do it today and it was getting shut off tomorrow. "Well what do you expect me to do," he said. Me, "Uhm, don't know. Figure it out. The electricity is getting shut off tomorrow if you don't pay it today. I just don't have time and I also 'forgot' how to pay it online." He thought i was bluffing. I waited him out for 2 weeks. He finally caved and paid the bill. MF'er, dont mess with me, I grew up poor, dirt poor. Going without electricity for a month a few times a year was normal if the folks had to choose between rent and food or electricity. Besides, unlike him, we had a gym in our facility with really nice showers. They even had a steam room. It was like hitting up the spa! As for food, I went to the dining facility in our building. Meals were $6.00 and set up buffet style (I was military), so all i could eat. Not only that, we had one of the best dining facilities on base!

I brought my uniforms and put them in the locker. I'd work out, shower, change, grab a hearty breakfast, and report for duty a little early!

Give me your stories of the shit your WS tried to pull in order to control you while they were in the affair. Doesn't even have to be weaponized incompetence. Just post where you took empowering steps to get control back over the crazy!

[This message edited by StillLivin at 11:08 PM, Thursday, January 9th]

Well, I learned that if he didn't like what I cooked for dinner, he'd go in the kitchen to make something and leave a big fat mess for me to clean. Globs of peanut butter or mayo, coffee grounds all over the counter, etc. So, I got to the point where I'd ask what he wanted before cooking dinner.

The last few years we were together, I'd ask him what sounded good for dinner. Crickets... So, I'd ask again only louder because we're getting older. Sometimes, it would be 3 times before he'd answer.

Finally, when I asked if he'd heard me, he said that he did. I asked why he didn't answer. His response? I didn't want to. One of his jerk moves.

Sooo….my H came home one night and admitted to the affair. Made it seem like it was nothing.

He then proceeds to start treating me like dirt. Real nasty stuff.

It started with the day after Dday. It’s 4th of July. Scheduled to go to a BBQ. I am in NO shape to go anywhere or do anything. I was sitting in the floor of our bedroom sobbing and he steps over me and says "see you later I’m going to the bbq". And left.

He then went away in a week long trip with our church. I borrowed his iPad for a meeting st our church. We are looking to schedule some dates for future committee meetings and I open his calendar.

I see the OW’s name and her birthdate on his calendar. Then I see the birthday e-card he made and sent her.

I had to remain complete composure with my pastor and close friends sitting right next to me. 🤪

He comes home from the church trip and announces he’s D me. No warning. No discussion. He’s checked out.

He thought he was going to call the shots and decide how things were going to go. He’s not actively doing anything to D but is basically cheating right in front of me and expecting me to take it.

Thankfully 6 months later at dday2 I was a very different person. And I was planning to D him. He was completely blindsided by me. Now he knows how it felt.

Leafields, my ex left the kitchen a huge mess because I refused to cook after he was being an asshole. His family was coming to visit for a few days. He forgot I went to the field that morning for 2 weeks. His mom and dad fussed him out for being so nasty! Guess he though i would clean up. I had no clue he'd even left the mrss until I got home 2 weeks later and his mom called me. She apologized for raising a lazy, nasty pig! FA&FO.
The1stWife. Sounds like he pulled his head out of his ass and worked towards reconciliation eventually. Mine was also blindsided, even though up to the night before he eas threatening to leave me in the morning and file for divorce. He was bold. F'er was actually mad and raging at me after he was served.

This is a great thread.

My WW told me she cheated because I wasn’t a good husband.

Maybe.

But now I know I’m at least better than some of your husbands.

Jeeez.

FPP. Well to be fair, the bar was low, buy share some of your stories because female cheaters can be pretty shitty too. I'm sure there was a FW situation you experienced too. This is an equal opportunity thread!

Yeah, FPP. My XWH told me that all the problems in our M were my fault...I guess the reverse is possible.

My H blamed me for his unhappiness and decision to cheat. He made it seem like I was a crazy ass drunk witch with nothing nice to say ever who married him for his money (you know that money he didn’t have when we married).

When he’s begging to R, I constantly would say to him "why do you want to reconcile with me, I’m……." And I would fill in the nasty lying justifications I heard over the last 6 months.

Made him squirm and then some😂😂😂😂

The1stWife,

My ex told me so many crazy reasons for why I deserved to be cheated on. LOL. I get it now how it's all just justifications to themselves, hut it sure hurt at the time.

1) I knew how much he loved baked ziti and lasagna and only made it once a month. We had a board on the fridge for requests,so this didn't pass the sniff test. He could have requested it anytime.

2) God told him it was ok to have an A because it made him happy. Out of 8 billion people on the planet, God only gave him permission for adultery??

3) I was always right in an argument and she was dumb, so he could be right more often. I shit you not he said this to me.

4) He could tell I didn't really love him when I didn't fistfight him or her when I found out about the A. Yeah, he told himself this shit even before I found out about the A as justification to have the A.

5) I cleaned better than him and it made him feel less than because he couldn't clean as good as me.

6) I work harder than him and it makes him look bad. I only work harder than him to show him up.

I mean the list goes on and on. It changed often. He basically threw whatever he thought would stick at the walls.

[This message edited by StillLivin at 11:49 PM, Friday, February 7th]

It's been a while since we've had a SSCS (Stupid Stuff Cheaters Say), but those would fit on there.

And I'd bet that if you made ziti and lasagna every other week, he'd say you didn't love him because you made it too much.

Stillliven I am sorry you had to hear that nonsense. It is hard enough to deal with I much less any nonsense that goes along with it.

Perhaps we do need another stupid stuff cheaters said thread :)

It seems any excuse will do for them, however ridiculous. If I wanted my partner to make ziti more often I can use the same mouth I eat the ziti with to politely ask them to make it, oh I don’t know, twice a month maybe… ridiculous.

If it’s any consolation, exwh said he cheated on me because I did not step in to stop a man who worked at a store we used to go in from flirting with him. So if anyone sees Fred (not real name), thank him from saving me from further infidelity since exwh is ex because of him…

@ leaffields

And I'd bet that if you made ziti and lasagna every other week, he'd say you didn't love him because you made it too much

Well, we both worked and I brought in more money. I always felt like he could bring his ass into the kitchen and makenit for himself. But, yeah, it's all just cognitive dissonance.
@ Shehawk.

Stillliven I am sorry you had to hear that nonsense. It is hard enough to deal with I much less any nonsense that goes along with it

Oh, I'm not. The bigger an asshole that he was helped me detach sooner. He did me a favor, because even in my shock I realized he was completely full of shit. He could dish it, but he couldn't take it. I served him back every BS excuse he made. Cried after. But, now, I look back and laugh at how stupid he was. Meh, he's the AP problem now, if they're even still together.
Yeah somebody should post another SSCS post!