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I have told my cheating ex that we can't get back together anyway and have told myself to never take back a cheater. But we stay on the same campus, share one class, and also work at the same lab time, so practically we need to stay in contact for work or by chance meet-ups till I finish my degree next June. So I can't just black out block her till June, as there may be lab-related urgency. But how to let go of loneliness and pain and void. Being on a residential campus, we used to spend almost the whole day together in some way. Now I have so much but don't want to do anything. The worst time is after sleeping (can't sleep more than 2-3 hrs and see her or cheating related staff in vivid dreams and nightmares from the day of the reveal); I feel like crying after waking up and starts thinking about how I trusted her and she was out there having sex with someone not me, how they planned it while I went to sleep saying goodnight, and also for multiple hours I just sit there in bed like a sobbing doll; I can't cry, time doesn't pass, etc. The worst thing is it's impacting my work. Can't seem to work or study at all. I open my PC, stare at it blankly, and then close it again. Please, those who've experienced this, help me overcome this.

[This message edited by TrustingIdiot2 at 9:03 PM, Monday, January 27th]

I feel for you having to deal with classes with all of this going on. Have you sought professional help? Is it available to you on campus?

Yes and I have gone to counselling for 2 sessions but I don't feel anything changed. Everything before and after is still the same.

I don't know about medical protocol in your country. Are medications available to you, such as to help you sleep or to help you deal with anxiety?

My concentration was shot. I found that meditation helped me to get my thoughts from spiraling out of control. For sleep, I got some medication from my doctor.

It takes time and healing, unfortunately.

Will I become dependent on medications? I don't want my whole life to become this sad overthinking autopilot who's only going day by day now but not living.

I was on meds for about a year. Other people have used tools such as EFT tapping. I found a guided sleep meditation on YouTube that helped me fall asleep, but it didn't help me to stay asleep. Plus, I had nightmares that would wake me.

Will I become dependent on medications? I don't want my whole life to become this sad overthinking autopilot who's only going day by day now but not living.

That's a question for a doctor. I really hope that you decide to see one. Right now, you're in a cycle that could very quickly drag you down much further if you don't take action.

I suffered from the same symptoms for about 3 months, and then life started getting better - but my W & I didn't split. My work suffered and never recovered, but I hated what I was doing and thought I could retire in a few years.

What did you expect from counseling? What were your goals for counseling?

Do you have friends who will let you cry on their shoulders?

Talk to a doc about possible addictions; there are meds that are less likely to cause addiction.

You say 'cheating ex' - does that mean you had agreed to be exclusive with one another?

Yes, we were supposed to be exclusive at least that what means as being in a relationship to me. She could have broke off with me beforehand if she did not want to be with me instead of sneaking out to cheat when I was at work or was sleeping. At least I wouldn't have been betrayed and have such a bad condition rn. I'm rn a mixture of pain, loneliness, trust issues, jealousy amd anger. Every moment one of these emotions get stronger and I feel like crying, screaming being restless.

From therapy I want to regain trust in people so I can love again and work without remembering pain and betrayal.

[This message edited by TrustingIdiot2 at 6:02 PM, Wednesday, January 29th]

Every moment one of these emotions get stronger and I feel like crying, screaming being restless.

I completely understand. My H and I separated for several weeks immediately after DDay and I was an anxious MESS.

You need to apply some basic first aid to get you through this period of acute trauma:

* First, a sleep aid. You can go to the doc and get their recommendation or a prescription, or you can try some over-the-counter medication. You need sleep so that you can function.

* Next, if you're having trouble eating, try smoothies that you can sip on throughout the day. Add protein powder. And make sure you're drinking enough water.

* Journal, or post here. Get those feelings out. When journaling on paper, use a pen and let it flow. Don't worry about grammar or handwriting, just purge.

* Find a study friend, or an accountability partner, preferably one with the same lab time. I'm so worried that you're going to mess up your last semester over some girl who isn't worthy of you. You need to get through to graduation, which means you need to do your classwork.

* Fake it until you make it. Don't let her see you upset. Tell yourself that you dodged a bullet by finding out that she's not trustworthy before you spent more time with her. (You DID dodge a bullet. She's a terrible GF.)