Aumanny99 (original poster member #48529) posted at 8:41 PM on Saturday, February 1st, 2025
I decided to take a break from this website, so i could fully heal, and not keep getting retriggered by first time BS stories of DD over and over again. I felt like a got sooo much from this forum and the suggested reading after about the 3rd year post DD i stopped logging on, but wanted to provide and update all these many years later. Hoping it gives betrayed spouses, especially men who are starting to lose hope.
It has felt for last few years like it is REALLY behind us. The trust is back, I know for a fact she is affair free. Her phone is wide open to me still and I now never check it.
Our love making is especially sweet and deep. We're empty nesters with the house to ourselves. We make love on regular basis, I am 60 and she is mid 50s, and it's fantastic. Lots of foreplay and intense orgasms for both of us, 2 to 4 times per month.
We've even rented hotel rooms for some of our liasons for added fun.
We still fight, but now the fights never include recriminations over the old affair anymore, they are about current issues. The past no longer haunts us.
This is possible if you do the work consistently and with a view for the long haul. It cannot be rushed.
Good luck on all your journeys.
Me: BS: 52WS: 40sDD: 11/7/14DD2: 10/17/15 (EA cont'd during false R)Married for 20 years Two kids, pre teen.WS: has LTA for 4 years. First 2 years EA, then last 2 years EA/PA. False R between 11/7/14 and 10/17/15(
Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 9:49 PM on Saturday, February 1st, 2025
Thank you for the update! I always enjoy hearing from people farther along the recovery road; it’s illuminating to see the paths people take. I’m so glad you feel healed and reconciled and that your relationship is strong and fulfilling.
Husband had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Married 20 years at that point; two teenaged kids. Reconciling.
fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 10:39 PM on Saturday, February 1st, 2025
Thank you for this update. It is deeply appreciated. Your story was one of the first I followed when I found this site. You wrote eloquently which helped a lot. Your journey for R was certainly not smooth. I was most impressed with all of the positive steps you took to become a stronger person and heal. I really appreciated your self-affirming statements: "I am my own soulmate". "I am my own best friend". Thanks again for the update.
Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.
JimBetrayed62 ( member #72275) posted at 12:18 AM on Sunday, February 2nd, 2025
Great post and great encouragement for BS, especially men. I was curious - when and how did your WS begin to express remorse and acknowledge the pain she had caused - and what in your view helped to get her to that point - or did she never actually get there but still managed to make the shift back to a loving relationship?
Me: BSHer: FWSDDay1 - Sept. 2004 DDay 2 - Dec. 2005 4-year LTA They were "soulmates"
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:27 PM on Sunday, February 2nd, 2025
Thanks for the update. I'm glad you've recovered and R'ed.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
